Ups and Downs

Friday Teresa and I both felt peace, joy, and a lot of excitement as
I told her about the possibility of continuing to work for Dish as a
dispatcher in TN. That joy spilled over to Shabbat as we visited
with friends and family. Sunday was a laid back day to allow Erika
to rest up and the rest of us to just chill out for the day. Then
last night, Jim, the property owner called to ask if he could put a
bunch of checks in the bank. I learned that he had continued to hold
our rent checks, which meant that he had checks going back to
December that were uncashed. That not only didn't make me very
happy, but also it took the joy out of us almost instantly. We were
back wondering if: we *should* be moving, we *could* be moving, and
what the alternatives were. For me, I just started playing on the
computer until I didn't want to look at it any more, which wasn't very long.

This morning, I was still in a nasty mood, yelling at the kids and
dogs all morning. It was as though someone had locked my volume
level on 'high'. Jim called to verify the check numbers and the
amounts and that put me about over the edge. I couldn't think. It
was hard to finish sentences. It was just hard to figure out what I
was doing, should do, and was going to do. I finally just left the
house to run to Healthy Harvest, the store and then the coffee shop,
which is where I'm at now. There's background noise, people talking,
and music over the speakers....but no boxes, no kids, no dogs,
nothing reminding me of money or the move staring at me. I'm tired
of dealing with money...other people's and ours. I'm tired of owing
people, being behind in bills, and just tired of not having extra to
have fun with. I'll be glad when we
move!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As for squaring things up with Jim....We will just have to pay him
what we owe him little by little. He knows that it's been hard for
us being on worker's comp. Instead of using our deposit for our
trip, we'll just have to let him keep it and, depending on our
move-in expenses, just pay him over a long period of time, or give
him what we can when we leave.

* * * * * * *

So, this was a whiner post....oh well. Journeys don't always include
flat roads, nor are they always at the top of the mountains. This is
a valley. Just like with the weather here, it's going to be a roller
coaster week. Tomorrow will be travelling to visit friends and talk
with the bank. Wed. will be starting out by fixing Annalyn's mask so
she can use it at the pool. As for the rest of the week....only YHWH
knows what's in store.